


Ray of Sunshine

by zeeazn5525



Series: The Essential Rays of Prolonged Existence [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst and Humor, Buddy Cops, But not really I like angst, I was legitimately sad about this one though, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Sorry, I'm not sure if I should tag for non-con, Immortality, M/M, Maybe I'll learn, Probably poorly written, Swearing, There's only a bit I mean he would agree?, but slight mentions of sex, does it count if they don't do it do it?, oh right, or almost sex, probably not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-10
Updated: 2014-12-10
Packaged: 2018-03-04 17:48:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3077114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zeeazn5525/pseuds/zeeazn5525
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Justin had lived to see a lot of change. Change that came with realizing what living meant for him, change that came with every chance he took and change that came with every loss he had to bury. And with that change came a fear of time - because despite the seemingly endless life he had been granted, there never seemed to be enough time for him to find purpose before it slipped through his fingertips. </p><p>Something was different about this time, and he hoped it was the change he had lived for centuries to witness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ray of Sunshine

**Author's Note:**

  * For [shippingtrashsinceforever](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shippingtrashsinceforever/gifts).



> Hello! (Good start, stiff greeting) This is the most recent series I've been working on, but the first that I'm posting here. I'm a little too nervous to write actual fanfiction so it's all just original works on here for now c: 
> 
> This was actually filling these prompts (with a few tiny changes):  
> 1\. Imagine Person A confessing their love for Person B. Person B believes that A is teasing them so they brush it off as a joke. A immediately pretends it was, believing B doesn’t feel the same way. Both are heartbroken.  
> 2\. Person A is immortal, and person B is mortal. Person B doesn’t know that person A is immortal.  
> During a fight with an enemy on top of a high building, Person A fakes out the enemy by stepping off the edge.  
> Person B sees this, and impulsively jumps after Person A, thinking Person A is about to die (if they’re either trying to save Person A, or deciding they don’t want to live if Person A is dead is up to you.)  
> As they’re both falling, Person A attempts to shield Person B with their body, all while Person B is babbling teary confessions of love/goodbyes.  
> However, the impact still kills Person B, leaving Person A covered in their lover’s blood, holding their lifeless body.  
> Onlookers watch in horror as Person A stands up, completely unharmed, clutching the mangled corpse of Person B as they start to sob uncontrollably. 
> 
> Uhm well.. enjoy? :)

Justin loved the way Ray smiled. It was simply fact by now. He loved how the smugness hung from his top lip when he smirked, loved the quiver in his lips when he tried to stay serious, loved the wonder in his eyes when he was curious and absolutely adored the way his face would brighten up when he surprised himself. He'd always joke about that smile, calling him his "Ray of sunshine", to which Ray would roll his eyes before giving him a light shove. It was playful, practically routine for the two of them. However, despite the joking tone in which he delivered that line, Justin meant it every single time.

You see, before Justin met Ray, he was someone else entirely. His name was Ki, and he lived a dark life. He lurked in the shadows, dwelling in the misery of life, often forgetting to eat and bathe, only sleeping in his corner of a dark alley. Sometimes he would feel strong enough to drag himself to the pub next door, downing a few drinks before nicking someone else's money to pay for them. Those usually also bought him a free ride back to his alley, alongside a complimentary beating. But he didn't care much for tending the wounds - they healed themselves quick enough.

Ki wasn't always that way, he used to be a proud head of what is now known as an Olmec village. At seventeen, he was told of his father's death by the townspeople celebrating his "crowning" in lieu of mourning - for the sanity of the village. They held a beautiful ceremony afterwards, but he was marched through the dingy village roads with a blank smile on his face, unable to process the information. That night he cried, softly, careful not to alert another living soul of his weakness, before deciding that he would be the best leader they ever had. Only days after, he met a beautiful girl near the outskirts of town. She was funny, and she was fearless - something that was extremely attractive to him. He made her his wife soon after, and before he knew it, he was twenty with 3 kids running amok. He promised himself that he would be an efficient leader, excellent man, loving husband, and caring father.

His resolve began crumbling around the time he was 32. He found his wife to be aging quickly, the once carefree face now sagging with the heavy burdens of wrinkles and time. He himself didn't look a day over twenty, while she was growing sick and haggardly. It pained him to see his children look just like him, only slightly younger. He spent progressively more time by the water and away from people, staring at his unchanging reflection, unable to understand why he was not aging like everyone around him.

The answer became clear when his whole village was burned down by a neighbouring village. To say he felt betrayed would be an understatement. He was always nice to the villages around them, offering them goods that they couldn't quite produce without the water of Ki's village. Yet he watched as familiar faces ran through the fire, pelting sharp stones at his sleeping children, who woke hollering defenselessly as blood seeped into the burning earth. He heard the violent hacking of his wife before silence took her place, her body a limp and willing sacrifice to the glowing fire. He jumped on his wife's attacker instantly, knocking them down and throwing angry punches every which way over and over again.

He realized too late that he was dying. He felt the sharp stone settle in his gut as the burning sensation began to tingle at his fingertips. Everything was suddenly far too hot for his liking, but he knew that he had at least put up somewhat of a fight for his family, and let the guilt ease away as he closed his eyes and waited to be taken to the spirit world.

What a surprise he was met with when he woke to the charred remains of his family, the charred remains of a village he used to call home. He went back to the water side, jumping in to wash himself of the guilt, but it kept coming. The ghosts of the ones he swore to protect all wailing from the wind-carried ashes. He let himself go, attempted to drown himself, but all he did was float. So Ki kept floating.

He tortured himself with those thoughts over centuries, occasionally wiping his mind with the bitter taste of alcohol (which to him, was the best invention of all time) and mindless sex with some girl or guy he managed to pick up off the streets. He kept up with the world for those distracted nights, fixing his appearance as he went.

He always held out hope when a fling looked promising, promised himself that _this time, it'll be different, this time I'll be the man I'm supposed to be._ He would find himself dangerous but high-paying jobs to use his immortality to his advantage, but hardships always seemed to outlast the good moments, evil and betrayal always seemed to win before his time being immortal could run out. So around 1999, right before the new millenium, Ki just gave up. He became the homeless man that wandered from alleyway to alleyway. For 10 years, he lived this way... until the night he met his ray of sunshine.

 

* * *

 

"I dare you to do a front flip and snap a picture of that homeless dude that always hangs out in the alleyway by Frank's!" Ray rolled his eyes as Cardin nudged him on the shoulder.

"Cardin, you know I shouldn't be doing this shit, I'm trying to get into a police academy! This ain't shit I'm allowed to do anymore!" Now it was Cardin's turn to roll his eyes.

"Raymond, you take that stick out of your ass and show them your moves, sweetie!" Cardin replied in an obnoxiously high pitched voice.

"Dude, stop imitating my mom, not cool."

"Fine, but seriously, I thought you were the parkour master."

"I am." Ray smirked.

"Well then, prove it." Cardin pulled out his phone before continuing, tapping through the menus for the camera function while he spoke. "Run up that wall onto the dumpster, then take a picture of him while you do a flip off the dumpster towards him."

"No, I shouldn't be harassi-"

"You gonna puss out?"

"No, I just-"

"You just can't parkour?"

"I can, I just-"

"Shut up and do it then." Ray's jaw snapped shut as he grabbed Cardin's phone from his hand, lips in a hard line. To be honest, he wasn't sure if he _could_ pull off this stunt or not. But he had to give it a try, especially now that he's bragged himself into this situation. _Okay, breathe. Everything will be okay. Just get the angle right, remember to breathe before the flip, and hope to God that guy doesn't know how to fight._ _Okay, three, two, o-_ He felt his feet hitting the pavement before his mind was ready, running on auto-pilot as he always did when parkouring, remembering to press the shutter once he launched off the dumpster using the momentum from the wall, landing feet first on the ground with a huge disbelieving grin on his face. _I did it_. The grin disappeared a mere second later, after the flash went off and illuminated a picture of his dumb smiling mug.

"Shit." he whispered as he saw the photo.

"What's the matter?" a groggy voice asked him. He looked down to see the man. For the first time, he realized that the man was not old, maybe only a few years older than him, but a scruffy beard and a foul alcoholic stench identified him as a lot older.

"I uh, nothing, it's stupid," Ray replied as he started inching towards the opening of the alleyway.

"Wait, what were you doing?" Ray shifted nervously from foot to foot, desperately wanting to disappear.

"Uh..I uh.. parkour. Parkour! My friend dared me to do a parkour stunt and I did it!" Ray gave a satisfied victory pump, momentarily forgetting about his predicament.

The stranger chuckled. "Well you did a fine job."

"Thanks," Ray beamed, before deciding to stay a little longer. Something in the back of his mind begged to stay longer. "I sort of screwed it up though."

"How so?"

"I was supposed to get a picture of you but instead, got this." He pulled up the preview screen on the phone before showing it to the stranger. He distantly heard Cardin's indignant complaints as he watched his phone being handed off to a homeless person in an alleyway. That phone was as good as gone. But Ray didn't really care at the moment. _His own fault for making me do this and trusting me with his phone._ _He should be thankful I didn't drop it while I was parkouring..._ he reasoned.

The stranger suddenly burst out laughing as the picture finally seemed to register in his head.

"Oh my fucking god, you're a fuckin' idiot!" He returned the phone with the blurry picture of Ray's eyes full of wonder as he continued laughing at Ray's misfortune.

"Wow, way to be an asshole. You don't even know me, don't judge me." Ray put on a slight pout as Cardin came rushing in through the opening, breathing laboured and shallow - obviously not one to engage in much normal physical activity. He was stopped with a hand on his chest and a cellphone in his pocket. "I'll go home after this, Cardin, you can go ahead."

Cardin nodded uncertainly as he backed out of the alleyway and into the street.

"Pussy," the stranger muttered, but the tone was teasing, much like the ones he would use with his friends. It made the banter all the more friendly and comfortable.

"Wow, we're just full of insults in this alleyway, aren't we?"

"What do you expect from me?"

"Don't answer my questions with a question."

"Why? Does it offend you?"

"Yes, yes it does." Ray stuck his tongue out at the stranger.

"Did you just...stick your tongue out at me?"

"Hell yeah I did. Now stop asking me questions." The stranger stared up at him, but was silent.

"Are you not going to say anything else?"

"Well I don't have much to say other than questions, idiot."

"Why do you insist on insulting people you don't know? Has your mother never taught you that's rude?"

"Well, unless I can get a name, you're just going to be that one idiot." Ray let out a groan. He was not _seriously_ going to let a hobo know his name like that, was he?

"Real smooth, asshole. My name's Raymond, but everyone calls me Ray."

"I like it, short and sweet."

"Nobody asked your opinion," though he felt a small tingling in his heart. "Now what's your name?" The stranger froze for a second. "It's only fair," Ray reasoned, and it turned out, the homeless guy was pretty complacent.

"My name is K...Justin. My name's Justin" he answered, running his name silently across his tongue multiple times, as if it were the first time he had spoken it aloud.

"Cool. Well I should get going, Justin. I should go back home before it's too late." The stranger seemed to snap out of his trance at that, reaching a hand out to Ray.

"Wait, do you - " Ray reached into his jean pockets before finding a 20 dollar bill, handing it to Justin. He looked offended to be receiving the money, but took it anyways. Ray began walking away when Justin spoke again.

"That's actually... not what I was going to ask but now that I've taken it... Do you wanna give me your number so I can repay you at some point? This is enough money for me to start turning myself around. And I think I want to do that." Ray grit his teeth and cursed his own kindness. He was _not_ seriously about to turn around and give a stinking hobo his number for a damn twenty bucks. But there was this lingering curiousity that burned in the back of his mind. _He seems like a nice guy, what if he does make it? I mean, twenty bucks isn't a lot, but maybe it is enough, wouldn't it be cool to see how you can change someone? What's the worst that could happen?_ Deciding to take the risk since he'd been risking things all day, he turned around, grabbing his pen and notepad he kept for on the run policing from his back pocket before scribbling the familiar numbers down on a sheet, tearing the page off before shoving it into Justin's hands.

"If that's the case, I hope to hear from you soon dude, good luck," Ray said, shoving the pen and notepad back in his pockets before leisurely walking away.

"Thanks, idiot," Justin called out, as if they had been calling each other these names for years.

"Later, asshole," Ray called back with a wave of two fingers and a fond smile on his face. He really _did_ hope Justin would do well.

 

* * *

 

Justin sprang up mere seconds after Ray disappeared from view. He felt the hope swell in his chest as he felt the warmth of the smile like the warm embrace of his family from centuries long gone, he wanted to be around the guy that seemed to continually follow his curiousity - a dangerous personality type, but he could protect Ray from the dangers of the world, he's lived through so many already. He never wanted to stop seeing the wonder in the boy's eyes, and he would do anything to chase after it - and that's just what he did.

Now, watching the man the boy has grown into, Justin thought that nothing had really changed since their first interaction. _Well, I guess there is the fact that we're roommates and both badass cops, but that's just superficial of me._ Their relationship had always been jokes and insults, never quite serious, but that didn't mean their touches didn't linger a little longer than necessary, that Justin didn't willingly wrap himself around Ray when the nightmares got the worst of him, listening to the harsh wind outside their small apartment window. He could never really figure Ray out though, because one minute he would be begging to run around in the storm, singing - practically hollering - at the sky to "hit me with your best shot"; the next he would be curling into Justin's chest, swearing up his own small storm because "I didn't actually mean it! Did you fucking see that shit though?" But Justin would always enjoy watching the sparkle in the man's eyes every time he would surprise himself with his latest stunt, mostly because there would always be a flood of relief in his own heart that Ray hasn't managed to _kill_ himself with all his stunts - almost all of them life-threatening feats, considering their profession.

Justin felt himself slowly falling for the guy, after the initial stumble into this friendship in the alley. Ray had been surprisingly accepting of his turn around, and their friendship came easily, like it was always supposed to happen. But the more he fell, the more he hesitated to continue this friendship. There were multiple nights that Justin spent wide awake, thoughts running through his head on repeat: _But I'm immortal. He's going to have to age without me, have to grow old as he's reminded of his youth every single fucking day. I'm going to watch him wither away and die, I'm going to have to bury him one day._ And those were the thoughts that made him feel like the air was being squeezed out of him, those were the thoughts that had him clutching to the bed sheets as the darkness of centuries of loneliness returned to him. He lived the torture over and over again until the sun would come up, illuminating the small room he occupied. He considered running away before he completely fell in love with Ray, but seeing the world-brightening smile Ray always offered him along with a cup of coffee in the morning, he couldn't deny that he was _already_ too far in. He would then reprimand himself internally that even if he was willing to go through all that, Ray might not even like him that way, _Ray might not even like guys_.

The thought flickered in his mind as he sat with Ray on their day off in the hills, far from the city. They always drove out to these hills when they were sure they wouldn't be needed because it was nice to just sit on the hill and relax. The nature reminded him of home, especially the small stream running between the hills, but it was a sort of sweet nostalgia instead of the normal painful memory. Perhaps he had finally found a new home with Ray, and as the younger man leaned up against him, light brown hair blowing in the wind and tickling his neck, he froze. He wondered what his lips would feel like there, wondered if Ray felt the same way about him. He imagined making a permanent home with his best friend, his partner on the job, his _love_. Sure, it would hurt like hell in the end, but if he could spend the last 70 or so years of Ray's life with him, he'd be willing to - because it was worth it.

He loved the feeling of going on missions with Ray, how they were so in sync with each other that they took down their enemies almost flawlessly. Okay, maybe there were a few times that it got a little messy, but what can you do when your partner's an ambitious idiot? He loved the squeal that Ray would subconsciously let out when he accomplished something he previously thought was impossible, but would always tease the man for it, to which Ray would indefinitely deny. He loved the car rides back to the little apartment they called home, how Ray would recount everything that happened in that day as if he were recounting another episode of a buddy-cop television show. He thought Ray was so full of life, animatedly talking and dramatizing every little moment. He thought he was really cute in those moments, but sometimes his exaggerations made Justin want to shut him up with a roll of the eyes and a kiss on the lips.

Justin took a deep breath before nudging Ray with his shoulder.

"Hmm?" Ray questioned, seemingly already half-asleep on his shoulder.

Justin wasn't sure how to go about it, so he thought maybe, the direct approach would be best. _Quick and nonchalant, that's the way to go._ "I think I love you, man." He immediately felt the heat seep into his cheeks, already feeling awkward about the way he blurted it out.

Ray stiffened against his shoulder before sinking back into him with a snicker. "Love you too, man. Don't you be getting mushy on me though, you're supposed to play bad cop, can't have you gushing over this good cop. Though I totally understand the sentiment, I mean, who could resist this hot body?"

"Shut up Ray, no one wants your body." Ray made an indignant noise.

"I'd bang me.." Ray said in a soft, sad voice. _I would too_ , Justin's mind whispered, wanting to wrap his arms around the man, even though he knew the sadness wasn't really there. Instead, he reached over and held Ray by the shoulder and turned him to look directly in his eyes. They were hazel, but predominately a soft amber at the moment, shifting with peculiar specks of green - much too easy for Justin to get lost in. He cleared his throat before continuing.

"I'm serious, you know."

"Serious about what? No one wanting me? Thanks, asshole." Ray's lips still pulled upwards in a cheeky grin, showing that he wasn't actually offended.

"No I mean, I actually like you, like you. As more than just a friend, I think." That's when Ray tensed under his fingers, his smile dropped from his face for a second, a flicker of hope, another of sadness flashed across those hazel eyes before his smile returned, double the size as Ray relaxed into the grass, pulling away from Justin's touch. The laughter that followed was different from every other time Justin had heard him laugh, every sound wave contorting into sharp weapons that stabbed at his heart.

"Good joke, man. I know you're straight, we're each others' wingmen, remember?" Ray breathed through his laughter. _So he isn't gay, how did I forget our nights in the bar?_ Justin took this as a last chance to worm himself out, of course Ray wouldn't be interested in him at all, so pushing would only ruin what they had. He didn't want anything to change, he didn't want to screw this up, so he pulled against all his unwilling muscles to let out a howl of laughter that was more hysteria than amusement.

"Yeah, I'm totally just kidding dude, you should have seen your face," he choked out, continuing to laugh to hide the tears now spilling out of the corner of his eyes.

"Shut up, you're a fucking asshole." Ray suddenly died down at that, leveling him with a smirk before lying down on the grass, face away from him. Justin took that as the cue to stop laughing, lying down too, facing the opposite direction. They didn't talk after that, each pulling at a patch of grass in front of their face, until there were two identical patches of bare ground on the hill. They then walked down in silence, drove home in silence, and ate dinner in their own rooms. It wasn't until Ray came bounding in his room to hit him in the face with a spitball - which turned out to be a green pea because Ray was a picky eater - that the silence was broken.

Twenty minutes later, the kitchen was _covered_ in the messy residue of an impromptu food fight. They both sat on the cold linoleum floor, panting like children after an intense game of tag. They were both smiling like idiots, Ray falling easily back into Justin - head nestling perfectly into the crook of his bronzed neck. _Maybe we don't need a relationship, maybe this is enough._ Justin knew he was just delaying the truth, that Ray just didn't like him, but he couldn't help but think there was more between them when he found himself caught in these intimate moments. He knew it would be easy, oh so easy to lean down and press gentle kisses to the man with a foul mouth and pale complexion, despite all the time he spent outside. _For now_ , he convinced himself, _for now, I'll enjoy his company_.

 

* * *

 

To say he didn't worry every time he did something stupid would be a complete lie. Ray worried every time his mind whispered for him to do something reckless, but he loved the adrenaline that he would get from taking every risk his curiousity pushed him to take. Besides, his partner always had his back. That was perhaps what Ray loved most about Justin. He was fearless, and that let Ray explore his life to its full extent, despite his worries. He probably wouldn't have explored even a quarter of the things he's done with Justin because he didn't have the confidence in himself. But somehow, Justin just seemed to believe in his abilities, no matter how ridiculous the idea, and always encouraged him to push his limits. So far, he hasn't been wrong about it, and Ray was super thankful for that.

Ever since Justin showed up one day at the police academy he was attending, sharply dressed with hair clean cut and beard trimmed to shape his strong jaws, they had been attached at the hip. He barely recognized the man, but Justin picked him out instantly - and from there their friendship only grew. They never talked seriously about anything other than their cases, which, even then, were joked about half the time. Ray doubted they would still have their jobs if the higher ups had ever heard the jokes they've cracked in the privacy of their shared home.

So when Justin told him he loved him, he didn't know how to take it. He assumed it was a joke, and thankfully he did, or else he would have made a giant fool of himself. It seemed like Ray always needed Justin a lot more than Justin needed him, and it didn't seem likely that anyone would stick around for him. As a child, no one liked to hang around him for long. People always assumed that Ray was insane in the way that he would fling himself at danger, seemingly without a care in the world. Sure, he would sometimes be commended for his effort to use his risky actions for good, more often than not, he would be reprimanded for them. He never felt like he fit with girls, he would always be more irritated by their worried nagging than comforted by their presence. He never felt the overwhelming need to protect someone he was romantically interested in over people in the general public, so he never liked attaching himself to someone and calling himself their dedicated protector. Nor was he good at being protected, mostly because it always lead to arguments about his _dangerous_ lifestyle. Justin was different like that. He protected him silently, and he felt comforted instead of the usual suffocation that came from his other relations.

It was his willingness to take risks that he and Justin quickly climbed up the ranks in the police force, becoming the best duo in their area. They were at the top of the world, having fun with every case they took, work never feeling like work - life was exciting and surprisingly easy. Sometimes Justin got piss drunk and reverted to the dark personality he was when Ray first met him. Those were the really the only times that Justin showed weakness, and Ray also grew weak in his resolve, melting into the tanned man with raven black hair. Those were the times that he would let himself give in and kiss the lips that he would inconspicuously stare at during long car rides as Justin talked while driving. Justin would kiss back with a drunken passion that Ray would match even though he was still quite sober. Justin would run his hands up and down his sides, sometimes murmuring names that he didn't recognize. Ray tried not to think about how it was never his name that came from the perfect, shining lips. He tried not to think about what they meant, if they belonged to old lovers, if they were female or male, he tried not to think about it. But when Justin would let out a moan, when Ray could feel his hardness rubbing against his thigh, he would be overcome with guilt, pulling away from Justin with a kiss to his forehead before tucking him in. Justin would whine, and he felt bad for leaving the guy in bed drunk out of his mind with a hard-on, but he knew he would feel worse if he fucked him without permission.

He would drag Justin to the bar the day after those nights, always. It helped him remind himself that Justin was straight. He would look around the bar, pointing out every mildly attractive girl he could see, asking "What about her? Big boobs, nice smile, and already looking tipsy." Justin would always respond with a non-committal grunt, which Ray assumed was just him still dealing with the dissatisfaction of the massive hangover still clouding his brain. After about eight candidates, Ray would shrug and say "Alright, suit yourself, I'm gunna get me some _pussayy_ ," never failing to throw a joking tone on the last word. He would walk up to the girl, charm her into shoving her tongue in his mouth just to prove a point to himself, and to Justin, that he didn't care if Justin was straight. He was too... totally. Despite his best attempts, he couldn't deny the drop in his stomach when he saw Justin in heated make-out sessions with girls he's never seen before. He couldn't hide the blush that burned hot when he thought back to the nights before, how he was the one kissing Justin in that way. But Justin never remembered in the morning.

They always went home together. Whether it was from the bar, from a mission or from a joyride. Despite all the making out in the bar, they never took anyone home with them, and that's probably the only thing that kept Ray holding on to his hope. He would make small moves on Justin, and Justin would allow them, but he never wanted to talk about it, he hoped it could work without words, because it just wasn't _them_ to talk about it.

To say he didn't worry every time he did something stupid would be a complete lie. But Ray's biggest regret was letting his worry take over that one time. He didn't take a risk and grab the man that he had started falling for since forever and kiss him, tangling his fingers in his hair like he's done multiple times in the secrecy of darkness and alcohol-wiped memories. That wouldn't have required any words, it was the only risk he didn't take, and the one that he regrets the most.

 

* * *

 

"Put your guns down!" Justin yelled at the men that surrounded his partner. He had underestimated the criminals, apparently they had pushed them to their limits. He was now one against five, his partner in their grasps. The wind rushed like the roar of the oceans to his ears, days of floating aimlessly coming back to haunt him, whispering their return as he watched the love of his life kneel helplessly in front of him, a bullet away from death. _Fucking assholes, out of all the places for a hostage exchange, the fucking Empire State Building?_

"I don't think that's your line anymore, how about _you_ put your guns down, yeah?" Justin had a pistol in each hand, pointing back and forth between his five targets. He knew it would be a bad idea to let Ray go in to investigate the place first. While he could pull off amazing stunts, he wasn't exactly one for stealth, and now here they were, almost at the top of the Empire State Building. He distantly wondered how many of the bastards he could push off the building before Ray would inevitably end up dead.

"What the fuck do you want from us? You already got the fucking money. Freedom? I'll let you go if you let him go," he continued to put up the tough act, despite the fear drumming in his head. Ray looked up at him with disbelief, probably wondering if he had lost his mind.

The leader of the pack threw his head back and laughed. "Funny bastard, you are. You know what we want. We want one of you _dead_." Justin's blood ran cold at the word, despite knowing that the choice was easy as fuck, of course he would go... he can't _die_. "So what do you say? You seem to care a lot about your partner here, isn't it a cop's duty to "stop the bad guys" before anything else?" the man punctuated with a mocking tone. "You or him?"

Ray was looking at him with fear and desperation swimming in his eyes. Justin let up an easy, confident smile that made Ray, and even the leader shrink away a bit. "Me then," he said easily. "As long as you promise to let him go, because I _will_ know if you don't."

The leader recovered from his surprise with a smirk. "Deal, I may be ruthless but I keep my fucking word."

Ray's eyes held more fear than Justin had ever witnessed, he let out a whimper beneath the cloth that kept him quiet, shaking his head as he pleaded with Justin to let him take the bullet. Justin couldn't do anything but shake his head a little sadly, mouthing _Trust me_ before throwing himself off the building. He didn't say goodbye because he knew he would go back to Ray, find him and tell him the truth before running away - perhaps with Ray, or perhaps alone, that would be up to Ray. But knew he it wouldn't be convincing if Ray understood now, even if he could somehow explain to him without the criminals knowing. It would be okay though, _it'll be okay now_. Justin closed his eyes and let himself drown in the sound of wind rushing past his ears, awaiting the impact. He knew that it was going to hurt, but he also knew he would be okay in the end. He was at peace.

His peace was shattered by the familiar squealing of a particular idiot. Opening his eyes, he saw the flash of light brown hair diving past him before he reached out to grab at the young man's shirt.

"WHAT THE HELL RAY?"

Ray turned to him and he saw that there was no light-hearted smile on Ray's face. There were tears floating upwards as they continued to fall. Justin pulled him in to him, angling himself so that his back would hit the pavement first. It's possible for a person to shield another from death after a fall from the Empire State Building, right?

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHAT THE HELL, JUSTIN? I COULD ASK YOU THE SAME THING."

"YOU WERE FREE, RAY, YOU COULD HAVE WALKED, YOU KNOW."

"SHUT YOUR SNARKY MOUTH YOU ASSHOLE. HOW COULD I JUST HAVE WALKED OUT OF THERE KNOWING THAT YOU JUST SENTENCED YOURSELF TO DEATH FOR ME?"

"YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, I-"

"NO, SHUT UP." Ray held tight to Justin, face right next to his ear, talking at a relatively normal volume. "I needed to tell you. I needed to take the risk before I regretted it forever. I had to tell you, and if that means dying together, I'm okay with that. I suck at words and I suck at life, and without you, life would be pointless. I don't know who I would be if I never met you, I definitely wouldn't have been able to experience all the adventures that I wanted to have, and I'm glad you were by my side for all of them." Ray didn't even stop for a second to listen to Justin, and to be honest, Justin was a little shocked by all of it, so he kept his mouth shut. "I love you, you stupid fucking asshole. I don't know when or why but I fell in love with you and you think you can just throw yourself off a building and leave me to live life without you? No, fuck that, fuck you. I know you're not into guys but obviously you feel something for me if you're willing to _throw yourself off a fucking building_ for me." His tears were flowing freely now, shamelessly bursting as the pressure built up over all the years of knowing each other released itself all at once, like his life's final detonation, final impact on this earth.

Justin had heard enough, moving to kiss the words away, kissing Ray in the way that he always dreamed about, sometimes even waking up in the morning with an awkward boner. He wished this would be a dream too, so he could wake up in the small apartment, so he could climb into Ray's bed and kiss him without a doubt, so they could start this new life together. But he knew that was all wishful thinking now.

Ray giggled mid kiss.

"What the fuck?"

"To think I had to sneak these when you were super drunk, when you would have willingly done it if I just asked... Makes me feel like a huge idiot."

"Well I always said you were an idiot, haven't I?"

"Asshole, we're about to die and that's all you have to say to me?" For a moment, Justin had forgotten they were still in free fall. He couldn't help but tear up at the prospect of hitting the pavement at any moment now. Not because it would hurt to hit the pavement, but because Ray may not make it. He'd try though, he'd try as hard as he could to shield his Ray of sunshine.

"No, I love you, my Ray of sunshine." He wrapped himself around him tighter, praying to God that he would get his way just this once, praying he would still be able to have the 70 years of Ray he once promised himself. _I can protect him, I can protect him this time. I've learned from my mistakes, I swear, I have. Please... please._

Ray didn't have time to respond, but he gave Justin his world-brightening smile once more. And before Justin could even let the scream of agony leave his throat, everything went black.

 

* * *

 

He woke up to Ray nuzzling him with his nose, where he imagined his stubble scratched against the sensitive skin softly.

"Good morning, love," Ray greeted as he shifted, kissing Justin lightly on the lips.

"Ew dude, your breath stinks," Justin croaked out.

"Fuck you, you're my husband now, you're supposed to love everything about me."

"Fuck me? I'll consider it if you brush your teeth first."

"Remind me why I'm with you?" Ray asked with a smirk, turning to lie on his back, admiring his hand as the simple ring glinted in the early sunlight.

"Because I'm the best cop out there, I've also got the biggest dick in our squad."

"Shut up, how do you even know that?"

"Because I'm super cop, I've got fucking x-Ray vision."

"Did you just make a sex joke using my name as a pun?"

"Maybe."

"I want a divorce, right now."

"Nope, you're stuck with me forever," Justin brought Ray back in easily, kissing him languidly.

"I thought you didn't want to kiss me."

"I can live with the stink."

"You're an asshole."

"You seemed to love my asshole last night."

"Dude, you know we don't talk about that shit."

"Yeah yeah, whatever."

 

* * *

 

The morning went slowly, sipping on coffee and driving to work together. They got several pats of congratulations at work, a few jokes about their honeymoon before they settled back into their business. They intertwined their fingers under the table at meetings, stealing kisses in the break room and conspiring in the car to plan out their next big stunt or adventure. They decided to drive back to the hill Justin first somewhat confessed his love to Ray at that night, hoping to star gaze and welcome the weekend with the peace of nature. They laid there for god knows how long, Ray with his head rested on Justin's chest, both exchanging warmth as their breaths escaped their lips in small streams of smoke. Fleetingly, as Justin felt sleep tugging on his drooping eyelids, he thought about how this life was almost too good to be true.

 

* * *

 

The first thing that Justin noticed was that he was cold. He sat up on the grassy hill, having somehow fallen asleep for the first time since the accident. He glanced at the empty space next to him, heart dropping when he realized that he had gotten lost in his dreams again. He stared sadly at the two patches of dirt on either side of him, how only two weeks ago, he was creating this patch of dirt. How only two weeks ago, his partner had been silently creating the patch on his left. He longed to feel the light brown hair tickling his nape again, the slight pressure of someone around to make him laugh and light up the world. He thought about how insignificant the pain of rejection was in comparison to what he felt now.

He still remembered the messy shouting of panicked and disbelieving citizens, the red that seeped into his clothes, creating darker patches in his police uniform. He heard backup coming down the street, ambulance sirens following after. But somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew the moment he had seen that flash of light brown hair, Ray wasn't going to make it. He stared down at the idiot slumped in his arms, body limp and bloody despite having a human cushion to land on. He let himself go then, howling, cursing the unfair nature of life. Centuries of agony were released then, he cursed his immortality, cursed his inability to join his loved ones in death, cursed having to live with these scenes flickering to life in every nightmare, knowing that it wasn't just a simple nightmare, that they were memories. Memories of his mistakes, memories of his failure to protect the people and things he loved.

He knew from the very beginning that the idiot was more effort than it was worth - a dangerous personality type. But he went with it because he finally found something to live for, naively thinking that he could protect the man from everything life threw at him, but once again, he was proven wrong. He knew at some point, he would have to let Ray go, but he didn't expect that day to come so soon. He didn't expect to have his feelings reciprocated, didn't expect to go to sleep dreaming about how their life would have been if Ray were still there instead of living that life.

These days, Justin spent most of his time lying down on that hill, watching the grass grow back on the patches on either side of him. He slipped seamlessly from dreams to reality, back to dreams. He drowned himself in thoughts of Ray as he reminisced drunken memories of his nights with Ray, those that he once thought were only dreams. Those were the tidbits of reality amongst his hazy dreams, hoping that somewhere down the road, he could just sleep forever. There were moments that the pain became too much, where he wished he could just forget about the stupid idiot that literally _flipped_ his way into his life.

But then he would remember the way Ray would smirk, smugness hanging off his lips. He would remember the way his lips quivered when he tried to refrain from laughing. He would remember the wonder in Ray's curious eyes when he would complete a perfect stunt. He would remember the way the world brightened alongside the idiotic man-child's face when he surprised himself, and he couldn't forget.

Because Justin loved the way his Ray of sunshine smiled.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry. I swear I'll make it better next part. D:


End file.
